Historians are not united in their naming of the dramatic period in human history that took place between the 8th and 3rd century BCE, but given the way that so much depends on, or revolves around it, ‘the axial age’ is as good as any other attempt to name or describe it. It was the time of Siddartha Gautama; Socrates, Plato and Aristotle; Zoroaster; Confucius and the Hebrew prophets – it saw the development of the Upanishads, the Dao De Jing, Plato’s dialogues, and the books of Isaiah, Ezekiel, Amos, Hosea and Micah among others.
As an open-minded person, I’ve come to understand Christianity as just one of the world’s great religions. How do I respond to someone who insists that Christianity is “the only way” and fears that any doubt or accommodation of other ideas means risking an eternity in hell?
Dear Janice,
First and foremost, resist the urge to think you can change their mind on anything religious in an off-the-cuff chinwag. Depending on your relationship with the person, try offering to grab a cup of coffee together or going for a walk. If you suggest, “Hey, you’ve obviously given this a lot of thought. I’m interested in hearing more about where you’re coming from,” you’re more likely to avoid immediate conflict and create space for a genuine conversation. If you set a tone of curiosity, people are more likely to breathe easier and not be so “on their guard” that there’s no hope of dialogue.
From there, ask open, leading questions. Maybe something like: “Tell me about the people you love who AREN’T Christian: friends, co-workers, family. How do you square what you know about them with a belief system that would condemn them to Hell? What does that say about a God of unconditional love and forgiveness who would torture people for not believing the right thing?” You’re not trapping them (really!). Your aim is to invite them to notice their own instincts of love, loyalty, and compassion and see that they likely already hold to a more generous theology (which is in conflict with their own stated “belief”).
When everyone’s favorite prooftext is inevitably rolled out: “I am the way, the truth, and the life,” offer a reframing of the context. John 14.6 was an intimate word of comfort Jesus spoke to his closest followers on the eve of his death, not a universal rule meant to condemn billions to eternal torment. When read in context, it’s clear that Jesus’ words are in the category of pastoral reassurance, not setting doctrinal boundaries for all humanity. As one of my professors used to say, “It’s love language, not the first creed.” It’s deeply relational, not exclusive or triumphalist. To paraphrase, Jesus is saying, “You know me. Trust the love you’ve seen in me. This is your way forward.”
And finally, remind yourself that you are not going to dismantle someone’s lifelong heartfelt theological conviction in a single brilliant argument. Instead, think of it like gently removing one small block from a Jenga tower. Your job is not to topple the structure; it’s to create just enough wobble for grace to slip in. If all you accomplish is planting a seed, then that’s not nothing. If they go away thinking, “I know you and you’re not a bad person,” that might lead to thinking, “Surely a loving God isn’t going to condemn people to hell on a technicality!” You’ve done your part and the Spirit does the rest.
Over time, people remember kindness long after they’ve dismissed the most well-crafted arguments. If all you’re able to accomplish is to contribute to the slow arc of someone’s lifelong spiritual growth, you’re doing holy work. A nudge is enough. A loving but vexing question is enough. Just think of yourself as a theological speed bump. Slow their roll -- and that’ll be enough.
~ Rev. David Felten
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